언니일기

One of the things that make me really depressed is when my front door neighbor cries, and I can't help but hear the crying across the practically nonexistant hallway. If I had been the type that wasn't emotionally available, it wouldn't really be a problem. But I am, and I suffer, imagining all the discouraging things that the person could be going through and handful more reasons why they are so distressed, which consecutively leads me to think how I should most favorably approach the situation. 

A. I ignore, and mind my own business. - not possible. The underlying factor that bans me from taking this option is that I care for this person, residing across the hall from my room, more than anyone in this life. I need to hear the story, and see if there is a way to mend it. So A, out of the window.

And moving on, 

B. I knock, and ask if I can do anything. - what I always end up doing.

Now, sometimes, my tactic works, and I eventually find my way to comfort, even by the slightest degree, the friend I am talking to. I try to give her the slightly more cheerful side of it. 

But sometimes, my judgement fails me, and I end up closing her to feel disconnected, helpless, and misunderstood. This occurs when I get too involved with the situation. I give advice that the person finds unfit, irrelevant to her precise situation, or just something the person is not equipped to take. 

My sister is upset. And it kills me that there is nothing I can do to genuinely ease her pain. 

But from the bottom of my heart, I hope she recovers, sees the light to hold on and open up a fresh new page tomorrow.